If I want to feel like what I’m doing is important (which I clearly do) I have to be honest with myself about what’s important to me. The question is, can I make honest choices accordingly?
Situation / Trigger
Agreeing to do something I don’t really want to do
I don’t make honest choices about what’s important to me.
Anxiety Level (1-10)
I decide what’s important for me to say or do based on:
- What other people want me to say or do
- What I think other people want me to say or do
- The kind of person I want to think I am
- The kind of person I want other people to think I am
I accept invitations to do things I have no interest in doing because I’m afraid of hurting their feelings or them thinking it’s my social anxiety getting the best of me.
I continue engaging in conversations that I’m ready to end, afraid of coming off as a bitch who doesn’t have enough interest or time for them.
I start books because I should be reading them, not because they’re books I actually want to read. I want to be the kind of person who reads, and has read, the classics (though this is rarely incentive enough for me to actually finish them).
I don’t always decide what’s important for me to say or do based on how I want to be perceived, by others or myself.
Sometimes I decline invitations; the trick is being honest with myself about why: Do I genuinely not want to do it, or is it my social anxiety talking?
I’m getting better at ending conversations. There’s an art to it, I think; I’m still pretty clunky.
I’ve read some of the classics because I wanted to. I’ve also read plenty of books just because I felt like it (thank you, Jackie Collins).
What’s More Likely
I do make honest choices about what’s important to me. I just don’t do it all the time. I’m too afraid of an honest choice letting someone down, myself included, as though there is something wrong with the truth.
Alternative Thought / Positive Affirmation
What’s right for me is right.
Anxiety Level (1-10)
What’s Worrying You?
Keep your own worry journal and work it through. I picked up this tool in cognitive behavioral therapy. Inevitably, my anxiety level at the end of the exercise is less than it was when I started. I hope it works that way for you, too.