I Don’t Make Honest Choices: Worry Journal Exercise

I Don’t Make Honest Choices: Worry Journal Exercise

If I want to feel like what I’m doing is important (which I clearly do) I have to be honest with myself about what’s important to me. The question is, can I make honest choices accordingly?

Situation / Trigger

Agreeing to do something I don’t really want to do

Negative Thought

I don’t make honest choices about what’s important to me.

Anxiety Level (1-10)

7

Evidence For

I decide what’s important for me to say or do based on:

  • What other people want me to say or do
  • What I think other people want me to say or do
  • The kind of person I want to think I am
  • The kind of person I want other people to think I am

For instance:

I accept invitations to do things I have no interest in doing because I’m afraid of hurting their feelings or them thinking it’s my social anxiety getting the best of me.

I continue engaging in conversations that I’m ready to end, afraid of coming off as a bitch who doesn’t have enough interest or time for them.

I start books because I should be reading them, not because they’re books I actually want to read. I want to be the kind of person who reads, and has read, the classics (though this is rarely incentive enough for me to actually finish them).

Evidence Against

I don’t always decide what’s important for me to say or do based on how I want to be perceived, by others or myself.

For instance:

Sometimes I decline invitations; the trick is being honest with myself about why: Do I genuinely not want to do it, or is it my social anxiety talking?

I’m getting better at ending conversations. There’s an art to it, I think; I’m still pretty clunky.

I’ve read some of the classics because I wanted to. I’ve also read plenty of books just because I felt like it (thank you, Jackie Collins).

What’s More Likely

I do make honest choices about what’s important to me. I just don’t do it all the time. I’m too afraid of an honest choice letting someone down, myself included, as though there is something wrong with the truth.

Alternative Thought / Positive Affirmation

What’s right for me is right.

Anxiety Level (1-10)

3

What’s Worrying You?

Keep your own worry journal and work it through. I picked up this tool in cognitive behavioral therapy. Inevitably, my anxiety level at the end of the exercise is less than it was when I started. I hope it works that way for you, too.

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I’m a writer living in Los Angeles and founder of Plenty Woman, a website for women ready to believe we are everything anxiety says we’re not: Beautiful. Lovable. Powerful. Important. Smart.



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