Tag: positive affirmations

I Don’t Look Young Anymore: Worry Journal Exercise

I Don’t Look Young Anymore: Worry Journal Exercise

People have been telling me for a long time that I look young for my age, but that means something a lot different when you’re 35 and look 27 than when you’re 43 and look 38. Besides, who’s to say what 38 looks like when […]

People Think I’m Stupid When I Don’t Know Things: Worry Journal Exercise

People Think I’m Stupid When I Don’t Know Things: Worry Journal Exercise

In most of my conversations, with pretty much anyone, I have to remind myself that honesty matters more than knowledge. It’s just not so easy living that truth when you’re as worried as I am about what other people think. Situation / Trigger Conversation about something I know nothing […]

I Don’t Make Honest Choices: Worry Journal Exercise

I Don’t Make Honest Choices: Worry Journal Exercise

If I want to feel like what I’m doing is important (which I clearly do) I have to be honest with myself about what’s important to me. The question is, can I make honest choices accordingly?

Situation / Trigger

Agreeing to do something I don’t really want to do

Negative Thought

I don’t make honest choices about what’s important to me.

Anxiety Level (1-10)

7

Evidence For

I decide what’s important for me to say or do based on:

  • What other people want me to say or do
  • What I think other people want me to say or do
  • The kind of person I want to think I am
  • The kind of person I want other people to think I am

For instance:

I accept invitations to do things I have no interest in doing because I’m afraid of hurting their feelings or them thinking it’s my social anxiety getting the best of me.

I continue engaging in conversations that I’m ready to end, afraid of coming off as a bitch who doesn’t have enough interest or time for them.

I start books because I should be reading them, not because they’re books I actually want to read. I want to be the kind of person who reads, and has read, the classics (though this is rarely incentive enough for me to actually finish them).

Evidence Against

I don’t always decide what’s important for me to say or do based on how I want to be perceived, by others or myself.

For instance:

Sometimes I decline invitations; the trick is being honest with myself about why: Do I genuinely not want to do it, or is it my social anxiety talking?

I’m getting better at ending conversations. There’s an art to it, I think; I’m still pretty clunky.

I’ve read some of the classics because I wanted to. I’ve also read plenty of books just because I felt like it (thank you, Jackie Collins).

What’s More Likely

I do make honest choices about what’s important to me. I just don’t do it all the time. I’m too afraid of an honest choice letting someone down, myself included, as though there is something wrong with the truth.

Alternative Thought / Positive Affirmation

What’s right for me is right.

Anxiety Level (1-10)

3

What’s Worrying You?

Keep your own worry journal and work it through. I picked up this tool in cognitive behavioral therapy. Inevitably, my anxiety level at the end of the exercise is less than it was when I started. I hope it works that way for you, too.

I Won’t Be Loved If I’m Not Perfect: Worry Journal Exercise

I Won’t Be Loved If I’m Not Perfect: Worry Journal Exercise

When you associate perfection with love, it becomes your end goal – the perfection part, I mean. And that’s a losing battle for reasons we all know: We aren’t perfect, and we never will be. I’m tired of chasing a purpose that’s so misguided, and […]

I Spend Too Much Time Worrying About the Way I Look: Worry Journal Exercise

I Spend Too Much Time Worrying About the Way I Look: Worry Journal Exercise

Where does the time go? The things I really care about (but am not accomplishing) want to know. In light of the essay, Beautiful On Purpose, worrying about the way I look is one likely suspect – spending too much time not only trying to make […]